Revolta unei maimuțe
Autor: Florin Laiu  |  Album: fara album  |  Tematica: Diverse
Odată o maimuţă din evul anecdotic, 
Venind la sfat pe-o creangă de arbore exotic, 
A explodat: „Surate, sunt foarte ofensată 
Că-n jungla hominidă superevoluată 
A apărut o teză, vădit maliţioasă, 
Că Homo ar descinde din stirpea noastră aleasă... 
Eu protestez sălbatic, rănită în mândrie, 
Că se propagă-n lume asemenea prostie. 
Dacă-ntâlniţi un singur nepot pitecantrop, 
Atunci, pentru banane să vă urcaţi în plop… 
Nu sufăr comparaţii cu tristul regn uman, 
Sunt mulţumită, nene, ca-s pur orangutan. 
Eu, chiar să mă oblige în vreun laborator, 
N-aş deveni port-bâtă şi nici informator; 
Şi cum progenitorii maimuţă m-au făcut, 
Sper să n-ajung ca omul, un josnic involut!
Păi, s-a văzut vreodată la noi atâta ură? 
Oare la noi se minte, se-njunghie, se fură? 
Nu veţi vedea prin lume, cât timp purta-vom coadă, 
Gorile divorţate şi prunci lăsaţi pe stradă. 
Cine-a văzut în hoardă vreun iraţional 
Tâmpindu-se cu droguri, sau homosexual? 
Nu inspirăm Marlboro, nu traficăm muniţii, 
Nu prea avem ştiinţă, n-avem nici superstiţii, 
Nici cârciumi, nici spitale, nici case de nebuni, 
Şi nu plătim pe alţii să facă rugăciuni. 
Aţi întâlnit prin codri vreun cimpanzeu beţiv, 
Gibon care să-njure sau pavian parşiv? 
Cât am umblat eu creangă, scuzaţi, n-am observat 
În obştea simiască, cocotier privat, 
Nici garduri şi nici paznici, nici pui murind de foame 
Sau omorâţi în taină de aşa-zise mame. 
Lipsesc şi teroriştii, n-avem corupţi, nici duri, 
Nici ţări, nici prim-miniştri pe care să-i înjuri. 
La mondiale suntem cu mult în urmă noi, 
Încât n-am fost în stare de nici un prim război. 
Noi n-am avut ev mediu, ci numai mediu pur, 
Lipsit de inchiziţii, de orizont obscur, 
Noi n-avem drepţi în temniţi, nici versuri puse-n lanţuri, 
Nici chefuri după care să ne culcăm prin şanţuri. 
E drept, n-avem miliţii în junglă, dar nici mafii, 
N-avem un staff al morţii, n-avem nici măcar stáfii! 
(E trist s-ajungi vreodată privit la Zoo Park 
Dar maxima ruşine-i să pui pe alţii-n ţarc).

Eu vă invit pe toate acum la raţiune: 
Nu promovaţi această credinţă de minune; 
Să nu apară-n junglă manipulări în masă, 
Cu dogme şi partide în lupta lor de clasă. 
Mă tem că ne pândeşte o nouă cruciadă, 
O convertire a hoardei în monştri fără coadă. 
De-o să vedeţi vreodată c-am coborât din pom, 
Maimuţărind făptura care îşi zice om, 
Opriţi-mă la vreme, să nu evoluez 
Şi, ajungând ca lumea, să nu ştiu ce să crez.

I-adevărat că omul a coborât, ca soi, 
Dar, bre, fiţi rezonabili, n-a coborât din noi!”

Florin Laiu, Bucureşti, 1990


Protestul maimutelor
Aceasta pezie este mai mult decat deosebita, este extrordinara, prin mesajul ei atat de sugestiv si bine structurat. Cu aceasta poezie, Florin Laiu, s-a detasat mult de toate celelalte poezii ale sale. Cred, ca ar trebui sa mai incerce. Felicitari!
Viziune bogatä
Inspiratia si comparatia sunt deosebit de pläcute.Harul sa fie cu tine iubitul meu frate in Domnul.Nädäjduiesc sä o citeascä cit mai multi necredinciosi "evolutionisti".
Adăugat în 12/03/2008
Pe lângă simţul umorul,rimă şi ritm impresionant,este vădit efortul depus în a studia specii de maimuţe.Mi-a plăcut mult!Multe binecuvântări!
Adăugat în 01/05/2009
nu mai modificati sau mutilati operele noastre
Va implor! Nu mai modificati sau mutilati micile noastre opere!!! Originalul e la mine!
Dupa cum vedeti poezia nu are decat prima parte ...cuprinsul si incheierea le-am finalizat dupa ce m-am mutat la chicago.Un prieten a vazut poezia si a pus-o din intamplare pe net.In original am numit-o "revolta unei maimute" dar in faza finala ea apare sub titlul "descendenta"
Va rog frumos,indiferent daca credeti sau nu ce scriu aici,nu mai modificati operele ! VA IMPLOR!!!Daca vreti s-o aveti trimite-ti-mi un scurt mesaj in email la [email protected]
Adăugat în 29/12/2009
Plagiatura?
Daca poezia de mai sus, care seamana ca doua picaturi de apa cu cea postata de Dvs nu e a d-lui Florin Laiu, nu poate fi vorba de o "mutilare" sau "modificare", ci pur si simplu de PLAGIATURA, si e pacat. Va rugam sa sa scoateti adevarul la lumina, in numele Adevarului si pentru descurajarea pe viitor a plagiturii( a se citi a furtului).
Adăugat în 09/01/2010
ptr fratele Gica
Frate Gica,pacatul sa fie al aceluia care a furat!...Daca comparati poezia mea cu cea de sus ve-ti vedea ca a mea are nuanta crestina! Acesta este scopul poeziilor pe care le scriu! Domnul sa va binecuvinteze! Uita-ti-va de asemenea si peste celelalte poezii din volumul meu
Adăugat în 06/02/2010
autorul poeziei
Autorul poeziei NU este Florin Laiu.
Judecatisi DVS din textul de mai jos,care i l-am scris si lui Florin Laiu .Oricine poate face cate variante vrea,nu apartine nimic lui Laiu.Nu am scris versuri in viata mea,dar iubesc poezia si adevarul
Foarte tare m-am suparat cand am vazut acest text scris de domnul Laiu:
"Din nefericire, poezia aceasta, pe care am scris-o acum aproape 20 de ani, a fost pusă în circulaţie de unii fără menţionarea autorului, apoi a fost modificată şi difuzată pe internet în variante mai mult sau mai puţin kitsch-oase, de care unii chiar şi-au ataşat numele ca „autori". Ceea ce mai rămâne de făcut acum este ca vreunul din aceşti băieţi îndrăzneţi să mă dea în judecată că le-am furat capodopera. Poezia a fost publicată cu aproximativ 20 de ani în urmă în Curierul Adventist, şi este prima din albumul meu Stihuri de altădată, Cernica: Editura GRAPHE, Colecţia Ştraif, 2004)."

“ideea ati furat-o.
cel putin ultimele versuri le-ati copiat cuvant cu cuvant
este doar o traducere mai liberala,dezvoltata.
Nu aveam de unde sa stiu?stiu multe despre Monkey disgrace The monkey speaks his mind – dave bartholomew etc. pe asta ati mizat? ca 20 de ani nu se va sti nimic? Ati furat ,domnule ,si ati primit laudele cu nesimtire. Ba ati si bestelit pe niste persoane care au impanzit netul cu alte variante,nu ale poeziei dumneavoastra,ci a poeziei originale.
Halal caracter pentru un profesor la Institutul Teologic.Vreti sa traduceti Biblia?”

The Monkeys Disgrace
A friend sent me this poem, which seems a complement to Uncivilized, by Edmund Vance Cooke (1866-1932). I first heard Uncivilized at a CGO meeting in Alburquerque perhaps 5 or 7 years ago, when Everett Gross recited it from memory. The third verse of this one seems to me to be a direct reference to Uncivilized.

The Monkeys Disgrace

Three monkeys sat in a coconut tree
Discussing things as they’re said to be.
Said one to another, “Now listen, you two,
There’s a certain rumor that cannot be true,
That man descends from our noble race -
The very idea is a disgrace.

No monkey ever deserted his wife,
Starved her babies and ruined her life;
And you’ve never known a mother monk
To leave her babies with others to bunk,
Or pass them on from one to another
Til they scarcely know who is their mother.

And another thing you’ll never see -
A monk build a fence around a coconut tree
And let the coconuts go to waste,
Forbidding all other monks to taste.
Why, if I put a fence around this tree,
Starvation would force you to steal from me.

Here’s another thing a monk won’t do -
Go out at night and get on a stew,
Or use a gun or club or knife
To take some other monkey’s life;

Yes, Man Descended – That ornery cuss -
But, brother, he didn’t descend from us!”

– anonymous

Uncivilized begins,

An ancient ape, once on a time,
Disliked exceedingly to climb,
And so he picked him out a tree
And said, “Now this belongs to me.
I have a hunch that monks are mutts
And I can make them gather nuts
And bring the bulk of them to me,
By claiming title to this tree.”

[read the entire poem here]

One source attributes The Monkeys Disgrace poem to Nettie Bates Thomas, another to Ogden Nash. Yet another compares it to a 1950s Broadway show tune, which you can hear here.

But I’ve also found a lot of other attributions for it, some which date it back to within Cooke’s lifetime:

There is a Dear Abby column which reads as follows: Tri-City Herald, Thursday, July 30, 1987

DEAR ABBY: I see by your column in The Cleveland Plain Dealer that you are trying to find the author of the poem titled The Monkey’s Disgrace. I was stationed in North Africa with the U.S. Army in 1943 and 1944, and I saved the clipping (enclosed) from the Stars and Stripes (a paper published for the armed forces in the European theater). As you can see, the original title of this poem is Man Descended and the author is Pvt. Edwin R. Pauley. Glad to be of help. — Walter S. Zaborowski, Maple Heights, Ohio.

DEAR ABBY: I am happy to inform you that the author of the poem you printed in The Times-Picayune is none other than Fats Domino’s bandleader, arranger and trumpet player — Dave Bartholomew. You had the title wrong, however. The actual title is The Monkey Speaks His Mind. — Jim Peddecord, New Orleans.

DEAR ABBY: The Monkey’s Disgrace, published in The Daily Ardmoreite, was written by Phil Kerr. He wrote humorous poems comparing man to animals. He wrote a clever one about a gum-chewing man and a cud-chewing cow. — Phyllis Smee, Ardmore, Okla.

DEAR ABBY: I read you daily in The Punxatawney Spirit. I’ve kept a copy of that poem, A Monkey’s Disgrace, for years. It was written by Richard Rotor. — Mrs. Charles S. Smith, Punxatawney, PA.

DEAR ABBY: Re The Monkey’s Disgrace: I can’t help you — but a similar message was carried in the lyrics by Y. A. Harburg in Harold Arlen’s “Monkey in the Mango.” It was featured in the Broadway musical “Jamaica” in about 1957. — C. Gayle Warnock, Scottsdale, Ariz.

DEAR ABBY: The author of that poem about the monkeys was Gene Racey of Pulaski, Iowa. He operated a lumberyard for many years. On one occasion, Gene was a passenger in our car with three other men. Someone mentioned that poem, The Monkey’s Disgrace, and we all agreed it spoke the truth. The author was supposedly unknown. After a chuckle, Gene said, “I wrote that poem. I never claimed it because I didn’t want public recognition.” Gene Racey is now diseased, but another mutual friend still recalls Gene’s fun in revealing that he was the author. — The Rev. H. E. Harryman, Douds, Iowa.

DEAR ABBY: Do you want to know who wrote The Monkey’s Disgrace? It was James Whitcomb Riley. — Terry and Maureen
DEAR ABBY: The Omaha World Herald carried your column in which “John H. of Muncie, Ind.” asked who wrote the poem A Monkey’s Disgrace.

I have the poem, but it carried the title “The Monkey’s Viewpoint,” and the author is Bill Johnson. — Mrs. Paul Haws, Omaha, Neb.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-son-in-law told me that one night he and a bunch of his buddies were sitting around in Vietnam when one of the guys made up the first few lines, then another soldier added a few more, and before they knew it the entire poem about the monkey’s disgrace was put together. They called itThe Unknown Soldier’s Poem, because several soldiers made it up. — Ex-mother-in-law, Chippewa Falls, Wis.

DEAR ABBY: The Monkey’s Disgrace, published in the Oregonian, has been in my file for about 35 years. The author is Vera Bender. –Clara Peyrollaz, Carson, Wash.
and, in the St. Petersburg Times, October 17, 1987, appears this:

DEAR Abby: After reading “The Monkey’s Disgrace,” I felt I should tell you that I’ve had that poem since I was 10 years old. (I am now 80.) I am sending you two more amusing poems I have had for at least 70 years. You may want to share them with your readers. — Bertha D. Goff, Coldwater, Mich.

at http://www.rampbbs.net/monkeyinfo.htm, it is attributed:

The author of this poem is Gilliam S. Weaver. His symbol was 20 years behind the 8 ball which referred to prison time he served for armed robbery. He was caught inside an armored car with a gun in his possession. I met him in Bunker Hill Indiana in the cold winter of about 67. He was hitch hiking to a priest friend in Florida where he often wintered. His stories were so interesting that I took him home for lunch and later to the Kokomo city shelter near where I lived. He gave me a hand written copy of that poem as a means of saying thank you. He said that he had written that copy the previous night while he was in the Peru, IN jail for vagrancy. He said that they had picked him up the night before after they had served supper and released him the next morning before the served him breakfast.

He was an older man when I met him and I remember seeing him on the old Art Linkletter TV show telling the same stories. We even wrote to the priest in Florida to see if he ever made the trip safely, but never got an answer.

I’ve always remembered the poem and have always seen it as author unknown. Maybe we can put a name to that poem at last. His stories seemed believable to me, but who knows.

William R. Milligan

In any case, I encourage you to read it side by side with Uncivilized, and see what you think.
Adăugat în 14/04/2011 de sobitzky
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